Teaching Conservative Kids The Difference Between Right and Left

I had a curious conversation with my 6 year old daughter.

Dad, why do you think that Democrats are pro-abortion but against the death penalty, while Republicans are pro-life but for the death penalty?

And dad,

Why do you think that Democrats are for helping the poor and disadvantaged but against a war that liberates such people; while Republicans, conversely, are for self-sufficiency in people but for a war that will help people who have demonstrated little ambition, courage or wherewithal to help themselves?

and Dad,

Why do you think that Democrats are for a perverted definition of the separation of church and state and want desperately to rid this country of God, but ultra protective of all the things that God has given us, while Republicans are for keeping our moral compass pointing reverently toward a higher power, while exploiting all the gifts that God has given us?

Honey, honey slow down, I said.

It all has to do with power and money. Republicans are for X, so Democrats must hate X (with a fervent venomous passion). Democrats are pro-y, so Republicans must be anti-Y. It doesn't matter what X or Y is.

OK Dad, than something doesn't make sense. You said awhile back that Republicans are pro-big business, so by your theory Democrats must be anti-big business.

Generally that is true, Honey.

OK then, why do you think that the media, who is owned by big big business (Time Warner, Disney, Viacom), has such a liberal bent? You'd think that they would have a fiduciary responsibility to their stockholders to be right leaning toward policy makers that would pass laws that would benefit them.

(Silence)

So dad, you'd agree that this puts a slight hole in your power and money theory. Especially when all the data shows that conservative news is growing (Rush, Hannity, Fox, Savage) and liberal news is dying (NYT, ABC, CNN, NBC, CBS). So what was CBS thinking when they replaced Dan Rather with the ever so perky, but liberal Katie Couric?

Honey is our lesson over?