To my creditors -You have nothing to fear. Despite the last eight years of failed economic policies of the Bush administration, all of my bills are current. Even my mortgage. Had it not been for Democrats taking over Congress in 2006 things might have been very different. Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Barney Frank, and most of all, Barack Obama saved me from impending doom.
However, with Bush's policies continuing to destroy the economy, there may come a time when I am unable to pay my bills. That is where I am asking for your understanding and your patience.
If I do fall behind, please bear with me until my savior, Barack Obama, leads us into the Promised Land. The One has promised to give me a tax cut and with that I will be able to pay all of my bills, send my children to college, purchase better insurance coverage, buy a hybrid vehicle, put money into a government-controlled 401k alternative that will earn me a whopping 3 percent return, and I don't have to do anything to get all of this. What an unbelievable human being!
On top of all of that, energy prices will drop because the Messiah is going to punish oil companies with windfall taxes and that will teach them a lesson. And we won't have to worry about those pesky terrorists anymore. That One is going to sit down with them and let them know we just want to live harmoniously with them. No more racial strife because he represents all of us.
Why have we waited so long to elect a socialist? Utopia is on the horizon!
For those of you who might not be accustomed to sarcasm, I have not lost my mind and moved to the dark side (pun intended).