A Heartbeat Away

Let's be adults here...Dick Cheney won this dust-up last night going away. There were some spots he could have done better, but I suspect they are brushing up on seppuku ( http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=seppuku) procedures over at jfk central. Who was that kid up there with the Vice President?



There's a picture posted below about mate selections and what that says about a man...last night spoke volumes about the President and jfk. W picks his Veep to be a man that can assume the role of President with confidence...as Cheney himself quipped last night: "he didn't pick me because I could deliver Wyoming's three electoral votes." jfk picks HIS man for what? Sex appeal? Some more Hollywood type glam on the ticket? Smile wattage? Maybe it's 'cause he has a "pla- ya- an." (Dammit, I'm a Southerner and that accent grated on me! One radio wag this AM was speculating that Little Johnny was trying to channel Bill Clinton and he's still alive!)



At the start, in the weird 5 minutes before the official start, when Cheney and Edwards first walked in, you sensed a presence from the Vice President...he was pleasant, matter of fact, in-charge. Edwards looked like he was trying out for the lead in the Senior play - big toothy grin to the camera, eyebrows shifting up and down with the "how do you like me now?" look. Cheney sat down and wrote some notes on the pad...Edwards sat down looked over at Cheney then HE pulled out his pen and started scribbling notes. ("Oh! That's what I'm suppposed to do...OK. Damn, there's only one color of crayon!") Both were probably writing down the zingers they would use later...difference is, Cheney delivered, Edwards got drubbed.



Cheney was crisp and succinct in his answers. He bolstered the Administration's argument for going to war ("we feel we should hunt them down over there"), he spoke glowingly of the President's courage in making difficult decisions and he ripped the top of the opposing ticket, jfk, to shreds. When Johnny Edwards got in the way, he got mauled too: "Frankly, your Senate record isn't very impressive." This was a Chicago Bears circa 1985 style defense ( )...it was smothering. I was reminded of the Sean Connery line in the untouchables (Italians, no disrespect intended!): "isn't that just like a Dego, bringing a knife to a gun fight."



THE killer line came during the discussion of Iraq policy. Little Johnny kept talking about their "plan" and how magically everything will get better in the future if they are elected to play at 1600 Pennsylvania. Dick Cheney nodded with that little smile he gets, then pounced. He reviewed the switching positions and connected them to the Democratic primary results then finished with: "If you can't stand up to Howard Dean, how are you ever going to stand up to Al Quaeda?" If this was a boxing match, it was a body blow that you could hear ribs crack under.



At the mid-point of the debate, Cheney TKO'd Edwards with the zinger on the latter's Senate attendance and performance. "...I hadn't met you until you walked on this stage tonight." Little Johnny's knees buckled...his hand visibly shook as he reached for the coffee cup. The moderator should have called the fight at that point. They went on to trade jabs over domestic policy, but I expect most people tired of the civics lesson that was being given to a sitting Senator and tuned out.



The final bumbling funny was the " Aw shucks, I broke the rule again..." moments when Little Johnny couldn't stop repeating the phrase "John Kerry and I." He was out of ammo by the 30-minute mark and the only thing he could mutter in defense of the pummelling he took was "Halliburton."



Big Mo is back in the Bush camp and it should help carry the President through the next two debates.