Ingredients of a Perfectly Prepared Consevative Kid

Recipe to prepare a perfect Conservative Kid

Ingredients

1 rude thoughtless little pig (Preferably about 12 years old without brains or decency)
1 God-damn phone (turned off)
1 Thoughtless pain in the ass mother (a tree hugging super model works best)
1 Angry liberal dad
1 Ugly public divorce
A dash of disappointment
A pinch of anger
A pinch of humiliation
1 last insult
A little crap
A load of shit

Preheat the oven to 500 degrees, put all burners on high
Make a call
Make an ass out of yourself
Feel like a fool over and over and over
Pull crap over
And do it over and over again
Fly out for the day
Straighten the little pig out
Make sure the little pig gets it
Get on a plane and go home
Let simmer until the little pig rebels against liberal parents and become an SUV driving, school voucher using, conservative Christian republican, with an I luv dub-ya tattooed on the small of her back.

Thanks Alec Baldwin. Conservatives will win your daughter in a custody battle.